Regular exercise and a proper diet can lead to physical wellness. But on the other side of the coin, what are the steps we need to take to strengthen our mental health, especially when obstacles and adversities arise? Through Morin’s years counseling others and her own experiences navigating personal loss, Morin realized that the habits we cannot break are often holding us back from true success and happiness. We are held back by self-pity, fretting about things that are out of our control, dwelling on the past, resenting other people’s accomplishments, and expecting quick fixes.
The first on the not-to-do list is not wasting time feeling sorry for oneself. Self-pity stops us from taking responsibility for our actions. Aside from being a waste of time, it leads to negative emotions and prevents us from dealing with other emotions. Self-pity gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality; it causes us to overlook the good in our life.
Moreover, we must not give away our power. We must not let other people control the way we think about ourselves or change our goals based on other people. Everyone has an opinion, but successful people do not let that opinion define them. We must now shy away from change. Some people are ready to change, and others are not. But why is it disadvantageous to resist change? Staying the same means getting stuck in a rut. You won’t learn new things, your life may not improve, and you won’t challenge yourself to develop better habits. If we continue to resist change, other people will outgrow us.
Mentally strong people don’t focus on things they can’t control. Instead, they accept inevitable circumstances and try to ease the situation by managing the things they can handle. Moreover, they don’t worry about pleasing everyone. Lao Tzu once said, “Care what others think; you will always be their prisoner.” Most people think that people-pleasing is generous. It’s self-centered. It assumes everyone cares about your every move. We must clarify our values and determine who we want to please to achieve our goals. It is not rude to practice tolerating the discomfort of saying no or expressing our true feelings. Mentally strong people don’t fear taking calculated risks. Calculated risks can help us fulfill our goals. Hence, we must not be too squeamish about our actions. All life is an experiment; the more experiments we make, the better.
Mentally strong people don’t dwell on the past; staying in the past doesn’t solve anything and can only lead to depression. As we miss out on the present, it interferes with our ability to discern. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over again. Research shows that retention rates are typically more excellent after making a mistake than just being told the answer. We must view our mistakes not as a negative but as an opportunity to improve ourselves. “Learn to clap for the success of others.” When we are happy for other people, we will attract and not repel successful people. This gives us the lesson not to resent other people.
Mentally strong individuals don’t give up after their first failure. Each failure lets us learn a bit more and do better next time. Mindfulness teaches us to accept thoughts, whatever we are at the moment. We learn to meditate and not fear alone time. Moreover, we must avoid feeling that the world owes s anything. The world owes us nothing; it was here first. Lastly, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. The glory is not attained by the results but by the process itself.
This book teaches us to take back our power, embrace change, face our fears, and train our brains for happiness and success. We must create opportunities for our growth but understand that we’ll never be perfect.
Stepping into the new world of finally becoming a law enforcer, I should really make it a habit to develop a strong mental health. Especially since I would be overseeing a number of people behind me and be the forerunner facing high-ranking officers, a stable mind which could work under pressure is highly important. Through this book, I was able to gain necessary knowledge regarding how to maintain stability despite under pressure.